


On the stoop

by RedChucks



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 13:00:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11852106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedChucks/pseuds/RedChucks
Summary: Young Howard and Vince and all the awkwardness you'd expect.(An attempt to start writing again.)





	On the stoop

Howard stood on the grubby stoop, wishing his shoes didn't blend in quite so well, rehearsing in his head what he intended to say for the fifteenth time since he'd arrived. 

Vince sure was taking a long time to answer the door. Wait, had he actually rung the doorbell? Howard felt his heart begin to pound painfully in his chest, the sick feeling in his throat increasing until her wanted to gag, except of course he couldn't because how would it look if Vince finally answered the door only to be met with Howard bent over on his doorstep with his tongue out, making sounds like a swan that'd swallowed a shoe. (A sound Howard happened to know, as a matter of fact, after that incident in the park last month. Vince had thought it was hilarious until Howard had started crying, at which point he had become so consoling, telling Howard the swan had just mistaken Howard's comfortable desert boots with dessert boots. Howard had been so shocked he'd been literally speechless and it had made him realise, as he watched Vince laugh delightedly at his own joke, that something had changed between them, or had at least changed for him.)

And so here he was, standing on Vince's stoop, hoping that Someone would hurry up and open the door before it started to get dark.

Behind the door Howard finally heard the sound of someone running toward the door, or rather gallop, Howard thought with a small smile. Vince had a tendency to do a half skip sort of gallop when excited, which worked when he was barefoot but ended with his nose hitting the floor when he was wearing the cowboy boots he'd become so obsessed with. 

He thought back over the speech he'd prepared one more time as he heard short fingers fumble with the locks and took a deep breath. All he had to do was tell Vince how he felt, that was all, just tell him the truth, Vince was sure to understand, possibly requite him, possibly.

At the sight of Vince's bright smile the carefully rehearsed words flew out of Howard's brain like pigeons fleeing a sausage dog in the park. Before Vince could even begin to say hello his body's panic mode had taken over his brain and written him a new script.

"Hi Vince! Hi, hey, how you doing? Where you from?"

"Wha- I'm from here Howard, you're at my hou-"

"It doesn't matter. What matters is, is, is the question I have come to ask. Very important, serious question. Question to reign like a quizzical king over all the other questions. Are you ready for this question, Vince! Think you can handle the question cued to come from the mouth of Moon?"

Vince blinked, like a meerkat with a sugar high, unsure whether he was supposed to answer or not.

"Um... yes?"

"Good," Howard almost yelled, wishing like hell he could stop the torrent of verbal vomit but knowing full well it wouldn't stop and that he'd be left to mop up the mess only once it was all out. "Because the thing is, Vince, the thing is... I wanted to ask you, in all seriousness, I wanted to ask if you would be my... be my... if you would be... my... boy... my,"

Howard swallowed and tried to just say the words. He was so close and Vince was looking, if not quite hopeful at least attentive and kind. He could do this. All he had to say was boyfriend after all.

"Vince, would you be my buoyancy advisor?"

Howard cringed and Vince's face morphed adorably from kind to confused. 

"Your what?"

"Buoyancy advisor, that's right, that's what I said (I think). I am... going to be training for the British Olympic swim team and need someone to take a look at how well I'm staying above the water and I thought who better than you, eh Vince?"

"Um," came Vince's reply, but as always he seemed to understand that Howard was at least trying and ruffled his hair self-consciously as he agreed. "Sure thing, Howard. Is that really what you came here to ask me about? Nothing else you wanted to talk about or ask me?"

Howard thought that perhaps he detected just a hint of desire in Vince's tone but he wasn't going to push his luck. He wasn't exactly an expert on reading the emotions of others. Then again.

"Well," Howard tried to go more slowly this time, to seem less keen in the hopes that his brain wouldn't catch on and ruin things for him. "There was one thing. I was wondering whether you would like to go with me," he paused for another deep breath as Vince nodded, already agreeing to whatever Howard proposed, " to that new zoo that's opened up a few blocks away? As a d-" 

Howard's brain kicked in to gear at that point. Vince was looking so excited, he loved animals after all, and Howard had thought it was probably safe to speak at a normal rate. He should have known better than to try and get one past his brain.

"As a da- as a dat- As a fun platonic day out!" 

Vince blinked again at the volume but it didn't seem to have affected his enthusiasm. He nodded vigorously, like a bobble head doll on the dash of a dodgy cab, and Howard felt himself relax, just a little. It was something after all, a step in the right direction. He would try again, at the zoo, to tell Vince the true depth of his feelings. He said his goodbyes and then left before he said anything that could possibly make things more awkward and tried to convince himself that the pink flush in Vince's cheeks had been due to the draft caused by the open door and nothing more. 

Behind the now closed door, Vince grinned and began to mentally plan his outfits: one that screamed swim coach but in a saucy, not creepy, kind of way, and one that he hoped to brand as zoo chic, animal friendly but trendy too. He also needed both outfits to scream boyfriend material because he wanted the world to know that he was on a date and heading toward serious boyfriend status with Howard Moon. He had no idea what platonic meant but Howard had seemed to really like the platinum streaks he'd had a few months back, so maybe it would be worth doing his hair like that again, if Howard was so keen on it. It would be more than worth it if it made his new date mate happy.

Vince grinned and clapped his hands. He was going on a day out with Howard, which probably counted as two dates since it was a whole day thing, and he would soon have a legitimate reason for staring at Howard in his tiny swim trunks without seeming like a perv. This day had turned out better than he could have imagined.

With a grin so wide it was actually starting to hurt, Vince galloped off to the bathroom. He had some blonde streaks to apply and some mirror kissing to practice. 


End file.
